What is Your Comfort Zone?

What is Your ​Comfort Zone?

By Sara Jane

When you saw the title of this article, what was the first thought that came to mind?

What do you consider your comfort zone to be?

(A little background - I am writing this on Tuesday 12th September 2017.

Tomorrow, Wednesday 13th I am recording a short Thoughtful Nuggets & Pearls inspirational program with Jaki Bent, my Sister, creator of The Emotional Baggage Diet and founder of If Everyone Cares.org and ODODOW.org. Our topic is 360 Degrees: How Big is your Comfort Zone?)

Every now and again I see little one liners that I like, so I write them down, I have 2 on a piece of paper at the side of me at the moment “I didn’t change, I just woke up” (Unknown) & “Journey into yourself” (The Journey into yourself by Eckhart Tolle & To Travel is to Journey into Yourself – Danny Kaye).

Yesterday I looked at these and wondered if they may be relevant to the Comfort Zone topic and slowly thoughts/feelings started, nothing I could pin down but I knew there was something there.

Then this morning it came to me whilst I was out for my morning walk.

Our Comfort Zone is a place outside of us, if we truly wish to step out of our comfort zone, we need to step back into ourselves.

Back into our heart, listen to our intuition and gut instincts, become again the person we were born to be, the person we were before we let outside influences change us.

Then came the biggy for me, our comfort zone is built from fear. Fear keeps us in a place where we can hopefully not get hurt, not make mistakes, not trip up, not make a fool of ourselves – how many more reasons can you think of for staying in your comfort zone and how many of them are negative reasons?

To me the role of our mind when we were young was to keep us safe, protect us (a role it takes very seriously) and to learn, to help us to grow.

Why have I put them in that order, because I believe our minds are still trying to protect us to the detriment of growth, to living our lives and following our paths. It is still treating us like the tiny baby and very young child that we left behind long ago.

To help us move out of our comfort zone and back into living life, the role of our mind has to change.

It is important that we thank it for taking such good care of us as a child and we ask it to please accept a new role, a more fun role, a role of empowerment, learning and growth. A role that still protects and helps us to live life to the fullest at the same time.

It is time to free ourselves by journeying back into ourselves, becoming true to ourselves.

It is time to learn the difference between the “fear” of being burned by a fame, stepping off a great height, jumping into raging waters and the “fear” of thought that has no true foundation.

By all means listen to those fears, be aware of them and as the saying goes “Feel the fear and do it anyway” (a book by Susan Jeffers).

I lived many years in a comfort zone that was far from comfortable, in the end it became so uncomfortable I had to get out.

Now I think back on it, when I did take that leap life changed for me in so many amazing ways and it was because I went looking for me and found me in all the rubble I had dumped on me over the years.

I pulled myself out and started to live my life and you can do the same and the amazing thing is, it was easier than fear had lead me to believe.

If you would like to watch/listen to the program Jaki and I shared you will find it HERE

Copyright © Sara Jane 2017

The Importance of Your Inner Child

The Importance of Your Inner Child

By Sara Jane

Below I have transcribed a share I made on Gift of Healing TV’s Thoughtful Nuggets & Pearls on 9th August.

This is a subject very close to my heart and I wish you all a greater connection with your younger self.


A very important, I suppose emotive subject as far as I’m concerned because I very much believe in the fact that we all have our younger selves within us.

The Younger self doesn’t have to be child, it’s you of this morning, it’s you of yesterday, last week, last year, whatever, it’s your younger self, so we refer to “Inner Child”.

But I will actually go to the child aspect; your inner child is really important, as far as I’m concerned.

I really believe that when something has happened that has hurt you, emotionally or physically, you’ve been told off.

Something you haven’t known how to deal with but you feel you haven’t… it’s not all right to be you, you are being told it is not Okay to be you.

So, you have done something that may have been laughed at in the past and now the adults have got fed up and they’re not laughing anymore and they’re telling you off and they’re telling you not to do it.

They’re telling you… you’ve had a mixed message and children really don’t understand, they don’t know how to cope with that.

The way I see it is because they don’t know how to cope with it, what they do is detach that aspect of themselves, at that point in time, at that age and it’s not OK to be that part of me, so I’ll get rid of that part of me.

So that part of them/that part of you no longer sits within you, it feels totally separate to you and it is really important to help bring those aspects of you back into you, to complete you.

You are not complete without all aspects of you.

You were born perfect, nothing wrong with you at all; you were born totally perfect, as you were you were perfect.

All your little differences, idiosyncrasies, everything about you was totally perfect and you grew as you learned.

You were totally perfect.

The imperfection – and I don’t like that word to be perfectly honest – but the imperfection starts when you stop being complete, when you stop being whole.

It is really important to connect with every aspect and as you re-connect with an aspect of yourself, a younger part of yourself, what I suggest to people is, once they have re-connected with a child aspect of themselves, go and have some play time.

If you live near the sea go and paddle in it, paddle in a stream, if it’s raining go and jump in a puddle, if it’s fall, the autumn, go and kick up some leaves, go and do something that is childlike, that is fun.

But actually do it anyway, because it is so important to connect with our inner child, to allow that playful aspect of our self out, that innocent aspect of our self out. Because we are the whole of who we are, not just the adult.

The adult can have more fun, be more relaxed, cope better with life when they allow the innocence and the fun and the playfulness of their inner child to come out at times…

Let your children, your inner aspects, the childhood aspects of you out to play and feel their innocence, their enthusiasm for life, their wonder.

It’s time to re-connect with those aspects of yourself that will bring you so much joy, so much happiness, so much relaxation, so much fun and really help you to live your life, because children know how to live, it’s the adult aspect of ourselves that forgets at times.

If you would like to watch/listen to the recording, you can HERE

Copyright © Sara Jane 2017

Mini Me

Life is a Dance

Life is a Dance

By Sara Jane

What is your favourite music to dance to?

When was the last time you let yourself feel the music?

Do you have a song or piece of music that when you hear it, you close your eyes and just let your body move or sway to it?

How do you feel when you are dancing?

Life is a dance, have you heard it said, “When you stumble, make it part of the dance”? (Author Unknown)

Think about dancing, you move forwards and backwards, sideways, round and round J, this sounds like life to me, with all its twists and turns.

Sometimes we dance on our own, others we led, other times we are lead and then there are the group dances.

Look at Nature, she loves to Dance,

The wind in the trees swaying the branches and rustling the leaves

The Flowers rocking in the breeze

The courtship dances of so many animals

Birds hopping and bobbing

Butterflies fluttering

Waves splashing & crashing

Rivers and Streams trickling and rushing

Flames dancing and sharing their light

Everywhere you look there is movement, the dance of life surrounds us.

Let nature be your guide, join in her dance, your dance.

Life is all about movement, your heart pumps so that the blood flows around your body. You have to keep moving or your joints will cease up. Your hair and nails are always growing, all the cells in your body are continually renewing themselves.

A stagnant pond or pool slowly dies, there is no flow of fresh water. Let your mind dance with new information, learning something new, challenge yourself to move and grow.

You will have many different dances in your life, with many different people, each one will help you to grow and add new steps to the dance that is your life.

Choose your steps, dance to your own tune, this is your life to dance to as you choose; have fun with it, laugh and play with it.

D - Downloading

A – Awareness of

N - New

C - Creative

E – Experiences

Copyright © Sara Jane 2017

With Many Thanks to Jaki Bent of The Emotional Baggage Diet & If Everyone Cares for permission to use the picture.

Fire: The Gift of Life

Fire: The Gift of Life

One of the 4 Elements, Represented by the Salamander

By Sara Jane

When you think of Fire, what comes to mind?

A roaring log fire that keeps you warm in the winter, the flames of a Bar-B-Que cooking meat and vegetables on a Summer’s afternoon or evening or a house or forest fire causing destruction in its wake.

Fire not only destroys, it brings life.

Without fire, none of us would be here, it kept us warm, it cooked our food, it ensured we survived long dark cold nights and winters.

Even fires that we can think of as destructive can bring life.

There are plants that have evolved to cope with fire and not only do they cope with it but they need it for their survival.

The heat of the fire helps release their seeds, trees such as the Lodgepole Pine and the Giant Sequoia among them.

Areas that have evolved with fire as an essential part of their habitat renewal & vitality include chaparral, coniferous forest, prairie and savanna.

Think about your own life, the times when you have felt under most pressure, the times of great change, the times when it has got a little “to hot in the kitchen of your life”.

Destruction can be more about re-birth, a new path, a change in scenery; letting go of the old and opening to the new.

Yes, at the time these changes occur, they are uncomfortable but they are also a gift.

Even in its destructive form, fire can bring new beginnings, a new lease of life.

Fire is as essential as an element for our survival as the Air (The Sylphs), Water (The Undines) & the Earth (The Gnomes).

Listen to the fire in your Heart, the fire that guides and excites you, the fire that motivates and encourages you, the fire that supports you to live your life, to experience, learn and grow.

The Love that resides in your heart is referred to by many as the “Flame of Love”, connect with it, feel it, let it expand and encompass you with a passion for life, a passion for living.

 Fire brings light as well as warmth, let the bright flame of Love shine from you, lighting your own path and guiding others. You are a beautiful light, let it shine.

Copyright © Sara Jane 2017

Walking the Paths of our Life

Walking the Paths of our Life

Walking, putting one foot in front of the other again and again and again.

When we are born, we can’t even sit up without help but slow we build up strength in our muscles and one day we do it without help.

The more we move around the more curious we get and then we learn to crawl, we feel nothing is going to stop us.

We watch everyone around us, our parents are standing on their two long limbs, we want to do that, so we keep trying until one day we find we can do it too – we are walking, now nothing is going to stop us.

We discover we can walk and climb and skip and run and jump, what freedom, we can explore.

When we learn something new we are full of enthusiasm, there is a wonder to life, a childlike pleasure in all that surrounds us.

That beautiful curious child is still within us all, it is still wanting to explore, to watch, to listen, to learn, to feel, to experience what life has to offer.

Too many of us have stopped walking, stopped putting one foot in front of the other. Too many are stood still and have got so used to their surroundings that they don’t see it anymore.

It is time to re-kindle our childlike qualities of curiosity, to open our eyes and our ears, to take a step forward and another and re-explore our surroundings and to visit pastures new.

 Life is not about sitting still, it is about exploring the path you are on, taking detours, having fun, laughing, loving, crying, hoping, wishing, Being.

I love being out in nature, walking and exploring, I have taken all these pictures, Dartmoor, Arne, Brownsea Island, Bournemouth Sea Front, Corfe Castle and the folks behind the tree are my Mum and Youngest Sister.

If life has become a little static give yourself permission to take a step forward, step out of your comfort zone, feel the trepidation but also the exhilaration as you realise there is so much more to life than you have been experiencing.

Go for it, now is the time to walk in to your future.

Copyright © Sara Jane 2017

Pictures Copyright © Sara Jane 2017

Laughter: A Tonic for the Soul

Laughter: A Tonic for the Soul

“A smile is contagious, let's start an epidemic” I first read this while I was waiting for a blood test, it was on the wall of the cubicle and it has stuck with me ever since.

I did try researching the rest of these quotes about smiles and laughter but without much joy – hehe, please forgive the pun, it wasn’t intended.

A Laugh is a Smile that Bursts – Mary H. Waldrip

Laughter is the best Medicine

Smile and the world smiles with you, Cry and you cry alone

If someone doesn’t have a Smile of their own, give them one of yours

A Smile that touches your eyes, opens the windows to your Sole (not sure where this one came from, it may be from me).

Laugh, Laugh, Laugh

Says your Heart to your Lips

Smile, Smile, Smile

Says your Heart to your Eyes

Love, Love, Love

Says your Heart to your Mind

Open your eyes to the beauty that surrounds you

Smile as you witness the budding of a leaf

Smile as you see the blooming of a flower

Laugh as you watch the antics of the Animals

Share laughter with family and friends

Witness with Joy the growing up of your children

Let the sounds of laughter fill your house, your home

Listen for laughter everywhere you roam

Laughter is healing, it banishes the blues

Laughter is medicine, a tonic for your Soul

Laughter is a beautiful sound

The sound of joy and fun

The sound of children and play

Let your Inner Child out to play

Awaken the fun and joy within you

Feel your Heart swell and your mind relax

Life is a journey

A journey that should be filled with fun

Learn to play again, to dance again, to laugh again.

Love, Peace & Laughter

Sara Jane

Copyright © Sara Jane 2017

Masking Your True Identity

Masking Your True Identity

Worzel Gummidge is a character in a late 1970’s British children’s program, a walking, talking scarecrow who had 3 different heads for different occasions.

How many heads or masks do you have? Are they all authentically you?

And what is the difference between a head and a mask?

Think about it, really think about it; are you “different” depending on who you are with?

Do you feel there are aspects of yourself that you should keep hidden?

How open are you about what you think?

Do you agree to “keep the Peace” or do you express your own opinion?

I know I have very strong opinions about certain things, however I also accept that we are all entitled to our own opinions.

There was a time, for many years, when I was a Yes girl, I would agree even if I didn’t because I didn’t have the courage to speak up.

I wore a mask that covered a very unhappy person, someone who felt unworthy, not good enough, unlovable and very insecure; the truth was I didn’t know who I was.

I get it, I really do.

The day I lifted my mask and stepped into BEING ME, was the most amazing relief and feeling of Freedom.

I realised I hadn’t needed to hide, that there will always be people who don’t like you or get you, whatever you do or say and that is Okay.

The only person you cannot hide from is yourself, it doesn’t matter how many different masks you wear, it is still you beneath them.

Even if you could change your head, your beauty comes from your Heart, which is your connection to your Soul.

We all are who we are and there will always be people who love us and those that don’t.

So, shed your masks, show the world the beautiful and amazing Being that You are, it is what it is waiting for.

Let us revisit having different heads.

Think about your working life, your home life and how you are when you are out with friends.

These are all aspects of you and sometimes they overlap but a lot of the time we keep them separate.

In our work environment, we are business like, when we are out with friends we let our hair down and when we are with our family we are aware of our responsibilities.

This was really bought home to me some years ago, when a friend died.

There is a group of us that like to dance, go for walks, spend time together and yes let our hair down. During our get togethers we would take pictures and when Graham died we collected photos of him and turned them into 3 collages which we give to his 3 adult children.

They loved them, a wonderful memento of their Dad but their comment was, this was a side of their Dad they had never seen, an aspect of his life they had not been aware of.

Masks hide us from the world but having different “heads” is just about compartmentalizing our lives and being true to ourselves in all of our life.

Copyright © Sara Jane 2017

What is Normal?

What is Normal?

Whose Definition is it any way?

By Sara Jane

Many years ago, as a teenager, my parents ran a small hotel in Torquay, Devon.

During June, we had a small groups come to stay of Nuns and ladies who were “Mentally Handicapped” (the old terminology).

Even then I remember thinking who is the one with the handicap, they were taken care of, they were kept safe and were encouraged to go out and experience – seemed like a great life to me and I felt that those of us that went out to work were the ones with the greatest handicap.

Fast forward to 2000 and the terminology had changed to “Learning Disability/Difficulty”.

I started volunteering for Poole Council as a Shared Carer/Befriender with adults with learning disabilities and remember having a conversation with one of my ladies about my teenage experience and thoughts.

Although her initial reaction to the old terminology wasn’t good, by the time I had finished sharing my feelings of the time, she was more relaxed and smiled, understanding what I was saying.

We all have things we are good at and those things we struggle with.

Who is anyone to judge another if they struggle with technology or can’t paint or play a musical instrument.

We are not all here to be surgeons, architects, maestros, firemen, racing drivers, ballet dancers and the list could go on & on.

What is your normal is not someone else’s normal; we all have our own normal; that which is normal for us.

There are many people that society labels as not normal but they have their own strengths, some of them are far more capable in some areas than people who have studied for years. They have an innate ability that enables them to do things without training.

Some of the most brilliant people have no common sense, they would struggle to boil an egg but that is overlooked because of their brilliance.

I struggled at school, back then I felt useless, no good at anything because most of the time what was highlighted was what I couldn’t do, the things I struggled with, rather than those things that I was good at.

The more we concentrate on what children and adults can do, the more confident they become and the more each will be able to do.

So what if you can’t paint or dance or play an instrument, so what if you struggle with complicated maths or learning languages.

Find what you enjoy, be true to your gifts, that is your normal.

Copyright © Sara Jane 2017

Learning to Be Comfortable in your own Skin

Learning to Be Comfortable in your own Skin

By Sara Jane

What do you consider “being comfortable” is?

Your answer will be different to everyone else’s.

Yes, even if you are in a long-term relationship or married, you will both answer from your own perspective and it will vary, even if only slightly, from your partner.

On the surface to the world everything may appear perfect, a loving relationship that is built on friendship.

There is a saying “everything in the garden is roses”.

I’ve been there, to all intents and purposes everything looked wonderful.

I had a man who loved me, we all but owned our house and had the money in the bank to pay it off.

We had 3 holidays every year, at least one abroad.

We were debt free and owned our cars.

How many of us would love to be in that position?

But I was so unhappy; he was a good man but I no longer loved him and didn’t know how to get out.

We lived in parallel comfort zones, his lined with rose petals and mine with rose thorns.

I was a fake purely because I didn’t know who I was.

I was scared to do or try so many things because I was afraid of what others would think.

So, I spent my life trying to please others with the hope that they would like me – even if only for a short while.

My wakeup call came in the form of a broken jaw (broken by a dentist extracting a wisdom tooth) followed by six months of pain and sleepless nights.

I no longer had the energy to constantly think about others, run our home, work full-time and study for an accountancy exam.

Then one day the penny dropped, it didn’t matter what others thought about me - if they even were, which they probably weren’t.

Providing I wasn’t deliberately hurting others, this was (and still is) my life to live, to experience, and my fear had been holding me back, seriously holding me back.

The day I learned to say No, was the day I stepped out of my comfort zone, I stopped being a fake and stepped into the unknown, to new possibilities; I started to find me.

I ended my marriage and moved; slowly a whole new world opened up for me.

Yes there were people who commented but I realised it was their stuff and I was able to let it go.

It was a few years later that I came across Neale Donald Walsch and the saying “Life Begins at the End of Your Comfort Zone” and other such sayings and wisdom, that resonated so deeply with me.

For nearly 40 years I was a fake, a fraud, always trying to please others and never myself.

I cheated me.

Being comfortable prevents growth; not being true to yourself prevents growth.

Opening your heart and your mind to all the opportunities and possibilities that exist may have elements of discomfort but that is living, growing, experiencing and the discomfort in its own funny way is comforting.


Because I know I am Alive

Love, Peace & Light

Sara Jane

Copyright © Sara Jane 2016


There is Magic All Around

By Sara Jane

Close your eyes and imagine

Imagine there is nothing, you can’t see anything, it is black, there is nothingness. You can’t hear anything there is silence, you can’t feel anything.

Nothing – an existence without stimulation for your senses.

Slowly you become aware of a sound, of birds singing.

You become aware of your body, of your breathing, you try and move your legs, they move; you stretch and move your head, you sit up.

Is it getting lighter?

You look towards the window, there are clouds visible in the sky and the sky is turning blue.

The sun is rising

You can see the trees and the plants, the flowers, the birds, bees and butterflies.

You make your way outside and realise you can feel the breeze, the warmth of the sun, the grass beneath your feet.

The sounds around you are growing as all the creatures and people start their day.

Give yourself a gift, the gift of a day where you let yourself experience the magic of life.

Let yourself hear the sounds of nature, let yourself feel the wind, the rain, the sun, the grass, the sand between your toes, the waves as they wash over your feet.

Let yourself see the blue sky, the fluffy white clouds, the beautiful clouds of a thunderstorm, the flashes of lightning, the rain as it creates and then splashes in puddles, as it forms a stream, as it waters the Earth.

See the different greens of the leaves and the grasses, the colours of the flowers, the amazing canvas that is nature.

Let yourself smell the rain, the freshly mown grass, the flowers, the mountain and woodland air.

Fill your senses.

As the day comes to a close, watch the sun go down, the exquisite colours of the sunset and as the sky darkens see the stars come out and the moon throw a path of light on the sea or a lake.

Be aware of the night sounds and smells, let yourself feel at peace, as a part of this magic we call life.

First Published in The Magic Happens On-line Digital Magazine

Copyright © Sara Jane