Should You?

Should You?

By Sara Jane

When you hear someone say you really should do that – there is no “should” about it.

It is your choice, listen to your gut instincts, your intuition, how does it feel to you?

Is the person who has said it doing it? Or are they just telling you “you should” because they don’t have the courage to or some other reason.

By all means it is great that we all share ideas and opportunities, but it is not for any of us to tell another what they should or shouldn’t do.

Should you?

The simple answer is NO, unless it really resonates with you and you do it because you choose to, not because someone else has told you “you should”.

It is time to reset your thinking from should, must, have to, no choice etc.

Are there times when you feel you really should do something, even if you would prefer not to?

This is about making a judgement call and think about whatever it is and weighing it up.

Give it thought, think about the affects on you and others, think about the time and timing. Probably most important of all speak to anyone else that may be involved.

Your timing may not be their timing and vice versa.

Sometimes we are thinking about doing something out of kindness, like visiting someone who is sick or trying to be helpful to someone who is struggling.

If that is what you are thinking you “should” do, find out first and foremost if it is convenient and ask what works for them.

Many “shoulds, musts, have to’s” can end up leaving us wondering why we bothered because we thought we were being “nice” but it really didn’t work for the other involved.

Learning to talk to each other is a really great step forward. Someone knowing you are thinking about them may be all that is “required” and everyone is happy.

Many people have grown up being taught to think about others and not themselves.

Truth is none of us really knows what is going on in another’s life or head and we are not mind readers – so ask.

You can always say No and make an alternative suggestion.

It is time to reset your thinking about others, that it is good to offer help and support, it is also great to receive it, as, when and how it is appropriate for each individual.

There were times I found myself wanting to use the “should” word when writing this and I had to find another way of writing what I was trying to say.

To me the word “should” feels like I am being told I have to do something and we don’t have to do anything we don’t choose to do.

Sometimes it feels like we have Hobson’s Choice, that we have to make the best of what we feel is a bad situation but we still have a choice and if we actually had the courage to speak to people we could find that there are other choices or the whole thing could just go away.

Namaste

Copyright © Sara Jane 2018

It is Always Your Choice

I​t is Always Your Choice

By Sara Jane

Every breath you take, every step you take, every move you make – it is your choice.

Every Yes you say, every No you say – it is your choice.

Now I get it, sometimes it feels as if you have Hobson’s choice but you still have a choice.

Remember when you do nothing, you make a choice by default.

How do you choose?

What are the criteria that helps you make your decision?

Do you listen to others, do you listen to your thoughts, do you listen to your Heart?

Does what others want or what you think they want guide your choice?

Or do you allow yourself to “feel” your way to your decision?

Do you listen to your Heart, your intuition, your gut instinct?

How many times have you “felt” your answer and ignored it because of what you thought other people would think or say?

Questions, questions, questions.

The only person who knows how you feel and what you would like, is you. All those around you are not mind readers.

And truth be told unless the people in your life talk to you honestly and openly about what their choices are, neither are you.

None of us know what is going on in another’s mind – even if you think they are sharing with you, there is something that may get left out.

So what choices are you making today? And why have you made that particular choice?

What is your reasoning and how is it making you feel?

Your choices for your life experiences should make you happy, excited, fill you with anticipation and maybe a few nerves.

When was the last time you did something new?

When was the last time you surprise yourself and did something out of pure spontaneity?

Is it time to take that leap of faith, regardless of what anyone else may think?

Only you can answer these questions for you, after all it is your life and everything in it and about it is your choice.

Stop giving your power away, take it back.

The happiness, the fulfilment, the joy, the love & the laughter you are looking for are all within you.

“Stop pushing so hard on the door looking for happiness. It opens inwards” Unknown

“If you say you have no choice, it means that the choice is Already Made” ~ Fazil Iskander

“If you don’t like how things are, change it! You’re not a tree” ~ Jim Rohn

Copyright © Sara Jane 2018

Treat Yourself to Exploring the World Around You

Treat Yourself to Exploring the World Around You

“Be Bold. Take Risks.

Nothing Can Substitute Experience” Paulo Coelho

Are you living your life or just going through the motions of day to day existing?

When was the last time you treated yourself to a new experience or explored a new area or path when out for a walk?

I get it, I really do, we have to earn the money to keep a roof over our head, food on the table and clothes on our back but life should be so much more than that.

When I look back over my life I spent far too many years just existing, feeling very unhappy and wondering what was the point.

Then I woke up, thanks to a broken jaw and all the stuff that went with it.

What does it matter what others think about you (and most of the time they aren’t), this is your life and you should live it and experience it in a way that makes you happy and fulfilled.

So, forget about a bucket list and create for yourself a Live Life List, a list of experiences you would like to have, places you would like to go, things you would like to see.

I have for a long time had thoughts about things I would like to do and then sometimes I hear or see something and think wow, would love that.

Over the last 20 years I have treated myself to or been treated to many different life experiences, here are some of them (and if I can do it, so can you).

  • Flown a helicopter
  • Abseiled off the Water Tower in Poole
  • Been a Trainee Wolf Handler with the Wolves at the UK Wolf Conservation Trust
  • Experienced a Zipwire ride in Bournemouth
  • Thrown a Pot (they came out really well)
  • Climbed the 3 Highest Peaks in the UK (Scarfel Pike in England, Snowdon in Wales & Ben Nevis in Scotland)
  • Went to Egypt (on my own) to Swim with Wild Dolphins
  • Went snorkelling in the Red Sea
  • Parasailing
  • On another trip to Egypt, I took myself off to Giza to see the Sphinx & Pyramids. We also Rode a Camel & went Star Gazing in the Dessert.
  • Ridden a Quad Bike
  • I was on the Weakest Link
  • Spent 2 weeks in Romania with the Carpathian Large Carnivore Project Tracking Wolves & Lynx (no killing involved)
  • Been a Messenger Speaker at 2 Messenger Summits in the USA
  • Paddled in the Pacific Ocean
  • Organised a 3-week Trip to America to spend time with the Nez Perce Indians learning about their culture and history and time in Yellowstone Park for a small group including 2 young adults with learning difficulties (amazing)
  • Retrained from working in Insurance to become a Complementary Health Therapist
  • Became a Shared Carer/Befriender for Adults with Learning Disabilities
  • Organised 3 Sponsored Walks for Adults with learning and/or physical difficulties (including 2 with Wolves)
  • Was a Volunteer Business Partner with a Young Enterprise Company
  • And this year for my 60th I am going to do a Wing Walk

“Life Has So Much To Offer,  You Don’t Need To Open Your Pockets, Just open Your Mind”

Shared by The Quote Today on Twitter

Every experience you allow yourself to have, brings you closer to you, to who you are.

Explore who you are, what makes you laugh, what brings fun and enjoyment, what scares you a little, what fulfils you, what helps you to feel alive.

Treat yourself or let someone else treat you and don’t wait for tomorrow, start that list today and start ticking them off. Add to it.

They don’t all have to be big things, expensive things, they could be as simple as paddling in a stream, rowing across a lake, a Boxing Day dip in the Sea (I’ve done that as well).

Start that course, book that massage, start that book you have always wanted to write, take riding lessons or try a flying lesson – feel the fear and do it anyway.

Just for fun, look back at your life and make a list of all the things you have done, the places you have been, both small and big things.

Let your memories of how you felt spur you on to more treats and exploration.

Life is a gift, our world is here for us to explore, open the package and treat yourself to the life you want.

“Everything Seemed Possible, When I Looked Through The Eyes Of A Child.

And Every Once In A While, I Remember, I Still Have The Chance To Be Wild”

Nikki Rowe

Copyright © Sara Jane 2018

I Am ~ Mastering Yourself

I Am ~ Mastering Yourself

By Sara Jane

(If you would like to hear Sara Reading this article, you will find the video at the bottom of the page)

“I” is the most powerful word, whatever you put after it becomes your reality, especially when you give it real energy.

Be warned, keep everything positive.

I Want leaves you with the wanting

I Need leaves you with the Needing

Instead of I want Love or Need Love – I Am Love, be what you are seeking.

You have amazing power and that power lies within the “I”, the who you really are.

There are some friends of mind that work with “Shadow Work” and it dawned on me only this morning (which is why I am writing this now while the thoughts are still fresh in my head), Our comfort zone is in our shadow.

What do I mean by that?

For me our comfort zone is a place of fear, you think you are safe and you probably are, but it is not a place in which you can truly live your life.

It is a place of pleasing others, keeping the peace, not rocking the boat. A place of the humdrum, the so called “normal”. The place of follow the rules and don’t try anything different. The place where you listen to your head and not your heart.

So why do I say it is in our shadow?

Because to get out of your comfort zone you step back into yourself, you step back into listening to your heart, your intuition, your gut instincts; you are guided by what feels right for you and not the fear of what others may think.

You step into the light of the amazing being that you are and therefore everything outside of you is a shadow of who you are.

Let yourself take control of your own life; fear is false evidence appearing real.

Step out of your head and into your heart.

Think back on a time you did that; how did it feel? What reactions did you get from others? Did you even get a reaction from others and if it was a negative one, could that not just have been a bit of jealousy that you did and they didn’t?

I Am, is who you are. You are not a doing, you are a Being.

Have you heard the saying “A shadow of their former self”?

Whilst you live in your comfort zone, whilst you listen to your head and not your heart, you are a shadow of the person you really are.

A few of the affirmations I use daily are:

      ​* “I Am the Love of My Life”

      ​* “I Am Special, I Love me”

      * “I Am Open to all the Help & Guidance Offered to Me”

      * “I Am Love, Peace & Harmony”

It is OK to say these and believe them.

When I first started, I didn’t believe and then one day I realised, I do and it is OK; I Am Love, I Am Special, so is everyone else, we are all equal in our own unique way.

It is time to be OK with “I Am Me” whoever your “Me” maybe; be the unique Being you are, bring your special talents and gifts to the world, we are all waiting for them.

How do you “Feel” when you follow your heart?

How do you “Feel” when you listen to your head?

Only you can answer these questions and only you can decide how you are going to continue with your life from this moment on – “I Am” and live your life as a Being or “I do” and just exist because you are afraid of what others may think.

Say after me “I Am Special, I Love me” “I Am the Love of My Life”

Feel it, Mean it, Be it.

Love, Peace & Light Sweet Soul

“Let Go” What Does That Mean to You?

​“Let Go”

What Does That Mean to You?

By Sara Jane

When someone tells you to “Let Go”, what does that mean to you?

To me I have always thought that it meant I would lose whatever or whoever it was, like trying to hold on in a raging river or gale force wind – you let go and it is lost to you forever.

So, is that why we are so hell bent on holding on to things, even if they no longer work for us, for fear of losing them completely?

I have come to understand that “Letting Go” is more a matter of “Freeing” something or someone, giving them free choice to stay or go.

Yes, you may still lose them but if they choose to stay, the energy of the relationship, the friendship is totally different.

It is lighter, more energised, more relaxed and free flowing and a lot healthier than trying to cling on for dear life.

The desperation, the insecurities, the frustration, the uncertainties evaporate – you and they are there because you choose to be, not because of invisible chains.

Look at your life, are you holding someone back or is someone holding you back?

Talk to them and listen to them, cut the chains and step into the freedom of choice.

Have you heard the saying “Let Go and Let God”?

Whatever you perceive God to be (Source, Creator, Great Mystery and so many other names), all this asks of us is that we offer the situation up and step back from the outcome.

Life goes on in the meantime but we stop “trying” so hard, we are honest with our self, we are true to our self and we let the other person or people be true to them self.

After all the majority of situations have other people involved.

Letting go can be the most empowering thing you can do for yourself and all those involved, it creates a more conducive energy for all involved to think more clearly, more realistically, more honestly and from the Heart and not the head.

~~~~~~~

I’m not sure who is guiding me with writing this article, however I am sure that that is what is happening.

I suppose for many years now I have just “trusted”.

I let go of outcomes, after all most of the time they are outside of my control and when it comes to the work I do with clients, it is, I feel, essential for me to stay detached from the outcome. That way I hope I enable them to fully use and be empowered by what we do together for their highest good.

When we get involved in other people’s stories we can add fuel to the fire rather than help them to put it out.

Another aspect of Letting Go is about your past, what has happened to you.

Yes, we do need to deal with it, acknowledge it and then let it go, we don’t live there anymore.

Letting Go is the most empowering thing we can do, after loving our self completely and unconditionally.

What has happened has happened, you can’t change it but you can learn from it and grow from it.

By letting it go you can use it as a stepping stone on your life path, if you hold on to it, it becomes a burden for you to carry around.

Love yourself enough to let go of all that no longer serves you, if it is to stay in your life, it will stay in a different more empowering form.

Copyright © Sara Jane 2017

Sara’s Challenge for You

Sara Has a Challenge for You

The other day I became aware of some negative thoughts going through my mind and it got me to thinking.

How can I turn them into positive thoughts?

How can I take out all the negative words?

Easy you may think but here is the challenge, next time you catch yourself with a thought with negative words in it, find a wording that says the same without any of them.

Feel free to share your thoughts, your challenges with this. Share your initial thought and how you reworded it, I'd love to hear from you, here, on FaceBook: https://www.facebook.com/TheSpiritof/ or Twitter: @SaraJaneOMF

What is Your Comfort Zone?

What is Your ​Comfort Zone?

By Sara Jane

When you saw the title of this article, what was the first thought that came to mind?

What do you consider your comfort zone to be?

(A little background - I am writing this on Tuesday 12th September 2017.

Tomorrow, Wednesday 13th I am recording a short Thoughtful Nuggets & Pearls inspirational program with Jaki Bent, my Sister, creator of The Emotional Baggage Diet and founder of If Everyone Cares.org and ODODOW.org. Our topic is 360 Degrees: How Big is your Comfort Zone?)

Every now and again I see little one liners that I like, so I write them down, I have 2 on a piece of paper at the side of me at the moment “I didn’t change, I just woke up” (Unknown) & “Journey into yourself” (The Journey into yourself by Eckhart Tolle & To Travel is to Journey into Yourself – Danny Kaye).

Yesterday I looked at these and wondered if they may be relevant to the Comfort Zone topic and slowly thoughts/feelings started, nothing I could pin down but I knew there was something there.

Then this morning it came to me whilst I was out for my morning walk.

Our Comfort Zone is a place outside of us, if we truly wish to step out of our comfort zone, we need to step back into ourselves.

Back into our heart, listen to our intuition and gut instincts, become again the person we were born to be, the person we were before we let outside influences change us.

Then came the biggy for me, our comfort zone is built from fear. Fear keeps us in a place where we can hopefully not get hurt, not make mistakes, not trip up, not make a fool of ourselves – how many more reasons can you think of for staying in your comfort zone and how many of them are negative reasons?

To me the role of our mind when we were young was to keep us safe, protect us (a role it takes very seriously) and to learn, to help us to grow.

Why have I put them in that order, because I believe our minds are still trying to protect us to the detriment of growth, to living our lives and following our paths. It is still treating us like the tiny baby and very young child that we left behind long ago.

To help us move out of our comfort zone and back into living life, the role of our mind has to change.

It is important that we thank it for taking such good care of us as a child and we ask it to please accept a new role, a more fun role, a role of empowerment, learning and growth. A role that still protects and helps us to live life to the fullest at the same time.

It is time to free ourselves by journeying back into ourselves, becoming true to ourselves.

It is time to learn the difference between the “fear” of being burned by a fame, stepping off a great height, jumping into raging waters and the “fear” of thought that has no true foundation.

By all means listen to those fears, be aware of them and as the saying goes “Feel the fear and do it anyway” (a book by Susan Jeffers).

I lived many years in a comfort zone that was far from comfortable, in the end it became so uncomfortable I had to get out.

Now I think back on it, when I did take that leap life changed for me in so many amazing ways and it was because I went looking for me and found me in all the rubble I had dumped on me over the years.

I pulled myself out and started to live my life and you can do the same and the amazing thing is, it was easier than fear had lead me to believe.

If you would like to watch/listen to the program Jaki and I shared you will find it HERE

Copyright © Sara Jane 2017

The Importance of Your Inner Child

The Importance of Your Inner Child

By Sara Jane

Below I have transcribed a share I made on Gift of Healing TV’s Thoughtful Nuggets & Pearls on 9th August.

This is a subject very close to my heart and I wish you all a greater connection with your younger self.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A very important, I suppose emotive subject as far as I’m concerned because I very much believe in the fact that we all have our younger selves within us.

The Younger self doesn’t have to be child, it’s you of this morning, it’s you of yesterday, last week, last year, whatever, it’s your younger self, so we refer to “Inner Child”.

But I will actually go to the child aspect; your inner child is really important, as far as I’m concerned.

I really believe that when something has happened that has hurt you, emotionally or physically, you’ve been told off.

Something you haven’t known how to deal with but you feel you haven’t… it’s not all right to be you, you are being told it is not Okay to be you.

So, you have done something that may have been laughed at in the past and now the adults have got fed up and they’re not laughing anymore and they’re telling you off and they’re telling you not to do it.

They’re telling you… you’ve had a mixed message and children really don’t understand, they don’t know how to cope with that.

The way I see it is because they don’t know how to cope with it, what they do is detach that aspect of themselves, at that point in time, at that age and it’s not OK to be that part of me, so I’ll get rid of that part of me.

So that part of them/that part of you no longer sits within you, it feels totally separate to you and it is really important to help bring those aspects of you back into you, to complete you.

You are not complete without all aspects of you.

You were born perfect, nothing wrong with you at all; you were born totally perfect, as you were you were perfect.

All your little differences, idiosyncrasies, everything about you was totally perfect and you grew as you learned.

You were totally perfect.

The imperfection – and I don’t like that word to be perfectly honest – but the imperfection starts when you stop being complete, when you stop being whole.

It is really important to connect with every aspect and as you re-connect with an aspect of yourself, a younger part of yourself, what I suggest to people is, once they have re-connected with a child aspect of themselves, go and have some play time.

If you live near the sea go and paddle in it, paddle in a stream, if it’s raining go and jump in a puddle, if it’s fall, the autumn, go and kick up some leaves, go and do something that is childlike, that is fun.

But actually do it anyway, because it is so important to connect with our inner child, to allow that playful aspect of our self out, that innocent aspect of our self out. Because we are the whole of who we are, not just the adult.

The adult can have more fun, be more relaxed, cope better with life when they allow the innocence and the fun and the playfulness of their inner child to come out at times…

Let your children, your inner aspects, the childhood aspects of you out to play and feel their innocence, their enthusiasm for life, their wonder.

It’s time to re-connect with those aspects of yourself that will bring you so much joy, so much happiness, so much relaxation, so much fun and really help you to live your life, because children know how to live, it’s the adult aspect of ourselves that forgets at times.

If you would like to watch/listen to the recording, you can HERE

Copyright © Sara Jane 2017

Mini Me

Life is a Dance

Life is a Dance

By Sara Jane

What is your favourite music to dance to?

When was the last time you let yourself feel the music?

Do you have a song or piece of music that when you hear it, you close your eyes and just let your body move or sway to it?

How do you feel when you are dancing?

Life is a dance, have you heard it said, “When you stumble, make it part of the dance”? (Author Unknown)

Think about dancing, you move forwards and backwards, sideways, round and round J, this sounds like life to me, with all its twists and turns.

Sometimes we dance on our own, others we led, other times we are lead and then there are the group dances.

Look at Nature, she loves to Dance,

The wind in the trees swaying the branches and rustling the leaves

The Flowers rocking in the breeze

The courtship dances of so many animals

Birds hopping and bobbing

Butterflies fluttering

Waves splashing & crashing

Rivers and Streams trickling and rushing

Flames dancing and sharing their light

Everywhere you look there is movement, the dance of life surrounds us.

Let nature be your guide, join in her dance, your dance.

Life is all about movement, your heart pumps so that the blood flows around your body. You have to keep moving or your joints will cease up. Your hair and nails are always growing, all the cells in your body are continually renewing themselves.

A stagnant pond or pool slowly dies, there is no flow of fresh water. Let your mind dance with new information, learning something new, challenge yourself to move and grow.

You will have many different dances in your life, with many different people, each one will help you to grow and add new steps to the dance that is your life.

Choose your steps, dance to your own tune, this is your life to dance to as you choose; have fun with it, laugh and play with it.

D - Downloading

A – Awareness of

N - New

C - Creative

E – Experiences

Copyright © Sara Jane 2017

With Many Thanks to Jaki Bent of The Emotional Baggage Diet & If Everyone Cares for permission to use the picture.

Fire: The Gift of Life

Fire: The Gift of Life

One of the 4 Elements, Represented by the Salamander

By Sara Jane

When you think of Fire, what comes to mind?

A roaring log fire that keeps you warm in the winter, the flames of a Bar-B-Que cooking meat and vegetables on a Summer’s afternoon or evening or a house or forest fire causing destruction in its wake.

Fire not only destroys, it brings life.

Without fire, none of us would be here, it kept us warm, it cooked our food, it ensured we survived long dark cold nights and winters.

Even fires that we can think of as destructive can bring life.

There are plants that have evolved to cope with fire and not only do they cope with it but they need it for their survival.

The heat of the fire helps release their seeds, trees such as the Lodgepole Pine and the Giant Sequoia among them.

Areas that have evolved with fire as an essential part of their habitat renewal & vitality include chaparral, coniferous forest, prairie and savanna.

Think about your own life, the times when you have felt under most pressure, the times of great change, the times when it has got a little “to hot in the kitchen of your life”.

Destruction can be more about re-birth, a new path, a change in scenery; letting go of the old and opening to the new.

Yes, at the time these changes occur, they are uncomfortable but they are also a gift.

Even in its destructive form, fire can bring new beginnings, a new lease of life.

Fire is as essential as an element for our survival as the Air (The Sylphs), Water (The Undines) & the Earth (The Gnomes).

Listen to the fire in your Heart, the fire that guides and excites you, the fire that motivates and encourages you, the fire that supports you to live your life, to experience, learn and grow.

The Love that resides in your heart is referred to by many as the “Flame of Love”, connect with it, feel it, let it expand and encompass you with a passion for life, a passion for living.

 Fire brings light as well as warmth, let the bright flame of Love shine from you, lighting your own path and guiding others. You are a beautiful light, let it shine.


Copyright © Sara Jane 2017

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