Have you ever felt Rejected?
Do you feel useless, unwanted, unloved, not good enough?
Does one or more of these resonate with you?
There are many of you out there who understand this. How many years have you felt like this? YES years.
Can you pinpoint how and when it started? Let me share a little of Jane’s story with you. This is a true story, a simplified version.
Jane was born in 1958, the first born and a very much wanted and loved little girl. Just before her first birthday in 1959 a nasty accident at home involving a boiling milk coffee resulted in her spending 3 months, including her 1st Birthday, in Liverpool Burns Unit.
In those days parents/mothers were not allowed to stay with their child, in fact the rules of the hospital at the time were that parents could only visit every other day. Worse still because of the distance her parents lived from the hospital and the fact that they only had one car; they could only visit once a week.
Baby Jane before the accident.
By the time Jane came “home”, her parents had moved so she was bought home to unfamiliar surroundings. Her mother was also heavily pregnant and the pregnancy was not going well. Jane spent a lot of time with great Aunts & Uncles or going to work with her Father.
August 1959 saw the birth of her sister Gillian, who died 9 weeks later.
Baby Jane with her Sister Gillian.
Back in those days the “thoughts, guidelines” to parents were “if a child cries when you put them down to sleep; let them cry, they will eventually go off to sleep.” This was how Jane’s parents had been with both her & Gillian; Gillian’s death was classed as a cot death.
In August 1960 Jane’s sister Catherine was born and because of what had happened to Gillian every time Catherine cried their parents went running.
At a time when she need her parents most Jane felt totally rejected, unwanted and unloved. Three months in hospital at such a young age and little to no physical contact with her parents; of seeing them and wanting to go home with them and then being left behind.
Jane’s feelings of rejection didn’t stop at the stay in hospital, they were added to by coming home to unfamiliar surroundings. She then gave her love to her little sister who died ~ another perceived rejection. And then to top it all her parents went running every time her sister Catherine cried.
Research has now shown the emotional & psychological damage that extended stays in hospital without prolonged contact with the parents especially, the mother, causes. This is why Mothers today are encouraged to be with their children as much as possible and why there are also beds for them.
There are many things that happen in our lives that are out of our control. As an adult as frustrating as it is we do realise this but a young child doesn’t and there is no way that parents can explain to such young children that as much as they love them they can’t be with them when they are needed most.
Think about things that happened to you when you were younger; try thinking about them from an outsider’s point of view, an outsider who can see all of what is going on. View it with the knowledge that you have now; allowing yourself to feel what both sides were probably feeling as circumstances and rules took control of the situation.
A lot of things in life that cause the most emotional hurt involve circumstances that are out of the control of the people involved.
This story is real and is being shared for all of you that have experienced rejection of any sort that has affected your life and how you feel about yourself.
There is more and I am going to share it over a total of 3 blogs (hopefully 1 a week for 3 weeks), along with thoughts/ideas that I hope will help you overcome these feelings about yourself. In the meantime before the next blog please think about your story and share with me your answer to this question?
What is the single biggest fear you have when it comes to Rejection?
I look forward to hearing from you
Love, Peace & Light
Have you ever felt rejected? Video on You Tube by Sara Jane