Revenge versus Forgiveness
By Sara Jane
“If you want revenge because your feelings are hurt, all you can see is your own suffering.
But if you calm yourself and look more deeply, you will see that the person who hurt you is suffering too.”
~ Haemin Sunim from “The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down”
When we feel hurt, many of us react, respond as an automatic reaction.
However, if we take a step back and allow ourselves to really look at our feelings and the situation, perhaps we could find the truth of the situation.
What are you feeling Hurt or Angry about?
If hurt, why are you feeling hurt?
Do you see any truth in what has been said to you or about you?
If there is some truth, is it an uncomfortable truth that you realise is for you to “deal” with and is your reaction more akin to embarrassment?
Or a truth that is part of who you are and the discomfort is the other persons, not yours?
If angry, why are you feeling angry?
Is it a lie or something you feel is very unjustified?
Has it touched a raw spot in you?
Other people’s behaviour is down to them, your behaviour is your responsibility.
When you react hastily you could be compounding a hurt that the other individual has experienced and they are still in reaction mode or worse still revenge mode “someone is going to pay for that and I don’t care who”.
As the saying goes “Revenge is like a hot coal you hold in your hand and expect the other person to get burned”, while it festers in you, it does more damage to you than anyone else.
Should people get away with rude and nasty behaviour – no but sometimes the best course of action is to walk away, to maintain your own peace and “let them stew in their own juices” and you won’t be “adding fuel to the fire”.
Hopefully the next time you see them they will be in a better frame of mind and you can ask them how they are, how life is treating them?
If they are willing to talk and share, you may get to find out why they behaved in the way they did and come to realise that it had nothing to do with you, you were just the nearest verbal punching bag.
By all means let them know how it made you feel, you could even suggest that if it occurs again, please talk to me rather than do what they did.
Taking a deep breath and talking rather than reacting can stop a lot of unnecessary hurt and pain and prevent the need for either revenge or forgiveness – supporting love and understanding for ourselves and each other.
It is time to unlearn so many of our reactions, they have served their purpose and passed their sell by date by many years.
You are a Beautiful being of Light
“May the Energy of the Divine that Resides in us All Touch our Hearts and Fill them with Love for Ourselves and Each Other” ~ Sara Jane
Copyright © Sara Jane 2022