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Unity of Self

Unity of Self

By Sara Jane

I am sharing this from my own understanding and experiences.

Looking back, I spent many years of my life feeling “in pieces”, with bits of me separated from me due to things that had happened and the way they made me feel about myself.

I will briefly share some of the more major things that happened that helped me disconnect from my true self, leaving me feeling unwanted, unloved, not good enough, unworthy and so much more.

Not long before my 1st Birthday (62 years ago at time of writing), an accident meant I was scolded by a boiling milk coffee that went all over my face and neck, causing the jumper I was wearing to stick to me skin.

I was hospitalised for 3 months with the hospital rules being that parents could visit for an hour every other day. The reality was once a week for an hour.

My parents had moved by the time I was allowed home, so it was to unfamiliar surroundings and Mum was pregnant with my Sister Gillian who was born August 1959 and died 9 weeks later.

Although there were other things that followed this was the grounding that left me feeling the way I did about myself and I became a people pleaser with the hope that I would be liked, even if only for a short period.

My wake-up call came in the form of a broken jaw, caused by a dentist extracting a wisdom tooth. I didn’t know it was broken for a week and the result was 6 months of pain and sleepless nights.

Only as I am writing this does the irony hit me that it was a wisdom tooth and the support this experience gave me to tape into my own wisdom and understanding.

Within me was a traumatised child who felt rejected.

My healing journey really started with learning Reiki and Metamorphic Technique. They opened me to an understanding that when we are young and don’t know how to deal with things that hurt us, we detach or compartmentalise that part of us.

As we get older, if we feel we don’t have time to deal with something, we again put it to one side, usually never to be revisited.

But they don’t go away.

When working with a client one day I became aware that our Solar Plexus is like a well that we deposit everything undealt with in and it festers until eventually it causes a problem with our health.

As part of the work I bring now, I help people reconnect with and heal the younger selves. Supporting them to reintegrate them back into their life and start the process of becoming whole again.

I have done this for myself, the baby girl who felt so unloved and alone, is now comfortable and confident in my love and very much a part of who I am.

Yes, the most important person to love us, is ourselves and we are the only ones who can heal ourselves, yes with support but no one can do it for you.

With every layer of the onion comes a new healing a new reconnection and a new unity of self; confidence and belief in ourselves, a love that supports us to be our true self in all the glory that we are here to bring.

Whatever has happened in your life, know that you are worthy of all the love you give to others and that love should come from you first for every aspect of you, regardless of what you have been through.

My childhood experiences, along with my wake-up call in my late 30’s were a gift that now supports me to support others on their own healing journey to bring them Unity of Self.

I love this quote and feel it is relevant to what I have shared above.

“As traumatised children we always dreamed that someone would come and save us. We never dreamed it would in fact be ourselves as adults” ~ Alice Little

Copyright © Sara Jane 2021

The Sweet Success of Rage

The Sweet Success of Rage

By Sara Jane

The definition of Rage according to “The Readers Digest Illustrated Dictionary”

“1.a. Extreme, vehement anger; fury b. a fit of anger – 2. Furious intensity, as of a storm or disease – 3. Burning desire or passion – 4. Informal A fade, a craze, very fashionable”

The rage I am referring to is anger.

Are you easily angered, or do you bottle up all those things that annoy you until you explode in a storm of rage?

I used to be the latter, I would bottle everything up and then the tiniest little thing would pop the cork and it was not a pretty sight.

It was a very rare occurrence but when it happened it was like a volcanic eruption and left me feeling totally drained.

I’m not proud of this, it was just a fact about me because back then I was so insecure, all I wanted to do was please people with the hope that folks would like me.

Saying No, doing something different, going against what others wanted, was not an option for fear of rejection.

Once I started, what I refer to as my “Healing Journey”, I came to realise just how destructive this bottling up was.

I also realised that all my thoughts about what people thought about me, well let’s just put it this way, most of the time they probably weren’t thinking about me because they had so much going on in their own lives.

This thought was actually a huge relief and I also came to understand that, if they were thinking about me, it didn’t matter anyway and what they were thinking was nothing to do with me.

I also realised that if something annoyed me, it was up to me to do something about it, not bottle it and if I could, “change” it and if I couldn’t do that, then I had other choices, I didn’t have to put up with it.

I started to realise that if something makes you angry, do something about it, let it out.

When you release it, it frees you, when you bottle it, it controls you.

I learnt to speak my mind, as kindly as possible but I learnt to honour myself and by letting go of the feelings of annoyance, anger & rage, I became more relaxed, calmer, happier (you could put so many different words here).

The success of expressing your anger and therefore letting it go, is freedom and a much happier you.

Copyright © Sara Jane 2018