We Don’t Talk Anymore: Or Listen to Understand

By Sara Jane

Families, the bigger they get with multiple generations, you either become very good at talking to each other, listening and doing your best to understand or you stop talking to each other and when you do talk, you don’t listen to understand but to reply.

In too many cases, conversations become a competition. When one person starts to talk, another interrupts, not allowing the first to finish, so you don’t have the full information, you make assumptions.

Have you ever heard the saying to do with the word assume?

“Ass of you and me”

However well we think we know those closest to us, do we really?

We all grow and hopefully become ourselves and not a clone of someone else.

We have our own thoughts and beliefs and these can and do change from our upbringing. We become our own person.

Family dynamics should change as the matriarch’s and patriarch’s get older and their children become the adults to take over from them.

However, our older generations have so much wisdom to share with us.

Have you ever asked your grandparents about their lives, the experiences they went through as children and their early adult years?

They may not understand much of what is going on today but what doesn’t change is the understanding of the feelings that can be caused by hurt, pain and trauma.

Be open to listening and talking to the older generations in your family. Ask questions, they will surprise you with their insights and wisdom.

I have recently been invited to participate in a new book “Gifts of Wisdom” which is due for release in October 2024. Twenty-Two authors all sharing their story and the wisdom they have gained on their journey so far in this life.

There is a lovely line in a poem called “Be Yourself” by Bruce B Wilmer

Wisdom lies in what you’ve learned

And what you have withstood

Hopefully, we will all one day be the older generation and our children, grandchildren and even great-grandchildren will listen to our stories and eventually be able to share the wisdom gained with their own.

Talk to share ~ Listen to learn and understand, and never be afraid to ask questions.