Do you take Things to Heart or into Your Head?

By Sara Jane

I think most of us have heard the saying “taking things to heart” but have you thought about what that really means?

For me it always meant that if someone did or said something that “hurt” me or caused me “pain”, that I took it personally, that it was potentially an insult or slight against me, a judgement that I wasn’t good enough and that there was something wrong with me.

Suggestion, think about what that saying “means” to you, how would you interpret it?

Situations in which you could “Take things to heart”

• Told you are stupid or an idiot
• Being told you are a waste of space
• Being belittled by a parent, teacher, friend, classmate
• Being ignored, overlooked
• Break-up of a friendship
• Break-up of a relationship, engagement, marriage
• Someone who is just very rude to you, it could be a complete stranger
• And I am sure you can come up with many more

When we “feel” emotional hurt or pain do we really take them to heart?

Recently I was part of a Today’s Conversation program in which our guest talked about taking things to heart and it suddenly hit me, we don’t take it to heart, we take it straight to our head, our mind, our ego which then weaves stories around what has been said or done, usually making us “feel” a lot worse than we need to.

What do I mean by this?

So much of our pain and feelings of rejection come from the thoughts that we have about situations, if we try to step outside those feelings and raging thoughts and view the whole situation from the outside in, rather than the inside out, we can hopefully see the bigger picture.

If you have ever finished a relationship, friendship, you have done it because it is the right thing for you, not because you wish to hurt the other person or people. And it is very important for us all to be true to ourselves.

Opening our mind to all sides of the “story” won’t stop us from feeling hurt but it can stop the tirade of negative thoughts that “add fuel to the fire” of pain.

The thought that came to me was that if we truly took things to our heart, we would wrap it in love, care, consideration and understanding, not the poor me, why me etc trap that we fall into all too easily.

Suggestion: If there is something going on at the moment or next time something happens and you find yourself in your head “thinking” it is your heart that is hurting, where is the real source of your pain?

Yes things others do or say can hurt us but we don’t have to wallow in that pain and hurt. Acknowledge (hopefully) be grateful for the experiences and time together and as best you can, let it go.

What has happened is unlikely to be a reflection of anything you have done but it is about what is going on in the other person’s life, it is their stuff not yours.

Love yourself enough to accept an ending gracefully, have your tears and then turn round and be ready for the new doors that are opening for you