Don’t Lose Yourself: Press Pause

By Sara Jane

Are you a people pleaser?

Do you spend time worrying about what others think of you?

Do you find yourself saying yes when you mean no?

Where do you come on your list of priority people in your life?

It is all too easy in the fast-paced world we live in today to be swept along with the crowd, even if what is happening doesn’t resonate with us.

Learned behaviours that everyone else comes first.

Insecurities from trauma, bullying and more, take their toll on us as adults until we can unravel what we’ve been told to do, say, be, by others and we can find who we are beneath all the misconceptions we have about ourselves.

Your answers to the above questions are very telling, do you have the courage to answer them honestly?

If your answers are yes, yes, yes, I’m not on the list, it is time to pause and start the process of finding yourself.

Is your ego mind running your life?

You could stop and listen, observe it, next time you realise it is having a hissy fit, trying to stop you or trying to push you in a direction that doesn’t speak to your heart.

Which voice are you listening to?

The voice of fear (usually your ego mind) or the voice of anticipation and excitement about something new which feels so right for you (your heart).

What do you do when you pause?

You could take a few deep breaths giving you time to assess and not respond automatically.

You could ask for time to think things through and check your diary.

You could meditate.

You could take a break, step back and watch as from an outsider’s perspective. Replay what just happened and remember similar situations from the past.

Is this a recurring theme? Does it ever truly benefit you and make you happy?

Is the other person ever grateful or are they just using you?

Remember, if you act in the same way every time a similar situation occurs, you are inviting the exact same results.

Be aware that every time you say yes, you are giving others permission to use you, taking you away from the life you are here to live for yourself.

It is time to find you, to empower the amazing person you are.

It is OK to say No to others and Yes to yourself, without having to explain.