By Sara Jane

Have you heard the saying “Practise the Pause”?

Have you thought about what that means?

Why more and more people are starting to do it, especially in contentious situations?

The older I have got the more I am learning that not everything requires a response and in some cases, taking time to think about it or as I put it “get my head wrapped round it” can be of great benefit.

Responding to something without having time to “take a breath” or give it some thought, can in too many cases lead to arguments, misunderstandings or major fallouts.

Many of these can be avoided if we Practise the Pause.

I know from personal experience, that reacting without giving something some real thought before responding, can lead to disagreements, arguments, harsh and angry words.

When we pause, we give ourselves the chance to review our own reaction to the words or situation and also to question, did they mean what I heard? Could you have misunderstood or misinterpreted the words they spoke?

By taking a step back, breathing and thinking about it, we can open to the fact that there may be a different way of hearing what has been said.

After all, we hear things from where we are at that point in time and if someone else has already “upset you”, you are more likely to be on the defence rather than having a more open mind.

Do you ever feel “why does this keep happening to me?

The answer is very simple because you keep responding using an old, outdated learned behaviour, one that no longer serves the person you are today.

This is one of the main reasons that taking a deep breath and Practising the Pause is so important, it enables you to consider your response, to find a different way to deal with an all too familiar situation and create a different outcome, hopefully supporting you to move on from experiencing similar situations in the future.

Practising the Pause is good for everyone involved, you and the individual who has tried to “tigger” you.

Love and be patient with yourself, you can let go of those old unwanted behaviours that no longer serve you, it just takes a deep breath and a little practice not to “bite” instantly when someone triggers you.